Dirty Martin's 2/21/2007

I like Dirty's because it reminds me of a brief tryst I had with this girl I knew in college who had Tourette Syndrome. We ate there once, and it was one of the few places where we ate together before she moved to New York.

I ordered the appetizer sampler for the table, which was half-priced. I liked the fried broccoli and the corn nuggets. Everything else was mediocre. And the sampler was served with ranch, which is fine for your fried mushrooms, but not a good choice for fried cheese sticks. Who eats fried cheese with ranch dressing? Germans pretending to be Americans so they can learn our secrets, that's who. If you see someone enjoying fried cheese with ranch dressing, call Homeland Security. Seriously.

The main event was a double cheeseburger with extra pickles and mustard. I'm not an overly fat man, nor do I think the only way to enjoy a burger is to eat a pound of it at a time. But the normal burgers at Dirty's are small. Their regular burger would be a "junior" burger at most other places. So the double burger was about the right size. The meat was tasty, there were plenty of pickles on my burger, and a nice slather of mustard coated the top bun.

Now, here's where things are going to get complicated. We started this blog to find "the best burger in Austin," and our list is pretty eclectic. For example, next week we're going to the Roaring Fork, which is an entirely different burger experience. For me, Dirty's is where the burger starts. No burger should be worse than a burger at Dirty's if you are serious about enjoying your burger.

I give Dirty's a 6 out of 10. Order it with some onion rings and a pint of Lone Star, and you'll have a well-coordinated, low-rent burger joint experience. If you like fancy burgers, handcrafted beer, cloth napkins, and some hoity-toity with your fries, come back next week.