Monday

Another reason why Dallas sucks

Burger House is a Dallas-based chain that somehow found its way to Austin. Too bad for us.

I ordered a cheeseburger made "old fashioned," which includes mustard, pickles, and onions. I could definitely taste the pickles and mustard, but the burger itself was invisible. I thought this odd until I realized later that the meat was actually a ninja in disguise, hired to assassinate my colon. It nearly succeeded.

I felt sick for fourteen hours after eating this burger. And it wasn't a fluky, bacterial or food poisoning sickness. It was much more sinister. These burgers are up to no good.

On the other hand, the fries were okay, and they did toast the buns, and the bottom bun was nice and crisp. While I enjoyed it at the time, I know now that it was the sleight-of-hand, distraction technique that makes ninjitsu so mysterious and dangerous.

I will not go back to Burger House. I will not recommend it to anyone I know. Unless I've been hired to kill that person.

2 comments:

auslunch.com said...

I agree re Burger House--I was not impressed. But, you are mistaken about "Dallas" + "sucks" when discussing burgers. I have not found the same array of quality burgers in Austin that can be had in Dallas, much to my disappointment. More info here:

http://auslunch.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=6

If you ever find yourself in Dallas, be sure to check out Ball's and Snuffer's for a top-quality affordable burger of the thick grilled variety. Good stuff. Have not found an equivalent here in Austin, yet...

Ryan M. said...

Let's not even forget about Twisted Root Burger Company in Deep Ellum. That place is PHENOMENAL!!